And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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