suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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