He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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