and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
