This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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