Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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