By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
