He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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