Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
