Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
