my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
