he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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