He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
