so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
