I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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