She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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