You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
