Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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