I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
