is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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