Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
