I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
