So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
