Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
