this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
