Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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