let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
