i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
