i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
