pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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