The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
