Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
