i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
