Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
