i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
