I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
