he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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