plz talk dirty to me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
