Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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