I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Panties = found
Randomize
