She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
