I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
