It's Friday. Sex?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Found the puke drawer
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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