Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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