I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Drake has all the answers
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
