Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
