My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
