Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
