Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is that strawberry winking at me??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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