That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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