I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
