He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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